The One Where
by HikariTenshiYamiTenshi
Summary: Basically various scenarios out of the sitcom 'Friends', with the YGO crowd! Shonen-ai, shojo-ai and het! YYxY a definite pairing!
1. The One Where Yami And Yugi Hook Up

HTYT - Alright, this is a series of oneshots with the characters in various 'Friends' episode scenarios. I got bored.  
Yugi - I'm Monica? MONICA?  
Yami - Why am I the one labeled 'The Funny One'?  
HTYT - Because Joey is...Joey, Tristan is Ross, and Serenity is Rachel.  
Yami - Who's Phoebe then?  
HTYT - When it comes around to it, I'll choose.

---

The One Where Yami And Yugi Hook Up

Yami lay on the bed to his and Joey's hotel room. Their friend Tristan, their best friend, was marrying a woman called Tea the next morning and while Joey was in a hot tub with the other best man and a big bucket of strawberries (he didn't dare ask), he was alone, in his jammies, watching The Big Bang Theory.

There was a knock at the door. Looking at the clock he'd bought along on the trip, he noted it was 9:30. He wasn't expecting a visitor.

He got up off the bed and unlocked the door, then opened it to find his friend Yugi standing, a cocktail in one hand and a drink stirrer in the other. "Hey Yami."

"Hey...Yugi...? What's up?" he replied, confused but happy to see him.

"My mother was completely right. I will never get married, will I? Jeez, the guy at the bar thought I was Tristan's father," Yugi said, sipping his drink with a sad look on his face. Yami waved him in the door and the shorter stood opposite him, "By the way, nice jammies."

The man chuckled. "I wasn't expecting a visitor...Yugi, what you said before was utter crap. I mean, who wouldn't want you? You're sweet, kind, sensitive, funny-" he was cut off by a pair of downy soft lips on his and was looking at the blushing face of his slightly drunk friend. "Yugi..."

"Yami..."

"How drunk are you? Because you and I just kissed," he mumbled, still stunned by the intensity of the kiss.

"Drunk enough that I know what I want, but not so drunk that you would be taking advantage of me," he replied, still slightly breathless.

"Perfect balance." the pair sank down side by side on Yami's bed and kissed, more intensely, only breaking when they needed air.

"Yami, you know what is really weird? Us kissing, it didn't feel weird..."

"I know."

A smirk appeared on Yugi's lips, "You're a great kisser too."

An smirk equalling that of Yugi's crossed his own mouth, "I have kissed more than a few people."

The pair drew into another lust-filled kiss, pulling covers over themselves and stripping under the sheets. When both were completely naked under the covers, they turned to each other, blushed, and lifted the sheets to look at the other.

A moment later they both looked back at each other's faces and Yami was first to speak. "Yugi, I think it's fairly safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined."

Yugi just shrugged and smirked again, ".....We weren't that close anyway."

"Eh..."

---

Tristan burst into Yami's room the next morning with a look of happiness on his face. "I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!"

Yami, who was already up and lying in bed, just replied with a smile, "Morning Tristan!" before the brunet shot from the room once more to go wake up his ex girlfriend (who everyone knew he still had a big thing for).

Yugi's head shot from under the covers just after his older brother closed the door behind him. "Do you think he knew I was here?"

---

HTYT - Hehehe...there may be more...


	2. The One Where They Nearly

HTYT - I'm thinking about doing a Scrubs version of this...  
Yugi - (eats doritos) Coolio!  
HTYT - ...You're Elliot.  
Yugi - ...As long as I'm not the Todd, I'm cool.  
Yami - ...Am I...  
HTYT - J.D.? Yes.

---

The One Where They Nearly Get Married In Vegas...

"Yami, we can't until we get something old, new, borrowed and blue..." Yugi ticked off.

Yami unlinked their hands and went up to a shelf and picked up a blue shirt, "Here, something blue, and it's new."

"Huh, efficient. Now we need something old."

Yami thought for a moment, "...Uh...I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was 12..."

"That'll work," Yugi said, waving his hands up.

"...I don't think it would..." the taller replied, shaking his head.

"Ok, just something borrowed now."

Yami picked up the shirt, "We'll just use this...we'll bring it back, just put it under your shirt."

The shorter turned and quickly shoved the blue object up the front of his black shirt, making it look like a small baby bump. Looking down, he looked thoughtful and glanced back up at his lover, who saw the glint in his eyes. "O-hokay...not quite ready to adopt yet! One step at a time!"

---

A little later they both walked into a small wedding chapel, and Yami waltzed up to the desk, "Hello! One marriage please!"

The woman at the desk looked up at the pair with a slight smile. "You'll just have to wait for a few minutes, there's a wedding going on at the moment."

"...Alright." both sat down and stared at the door, while the taller of the couple hummed an odd song, which Yugi just had to ask about. "What are you humming?"

"The Wedding March...why? Is that freaking you out?" Yami questioned nervously.

"No...Only because it's the Graduation Song..."

The doors to the chapel opened and Serenity and Tristan burst out, Serenity holding a bouquet of flowers and giggling, and both chucking confetti. Tristan danced in front of her and it was blatantly obvious that BOTH were blind-drunk, Serenity still having a pen mustache on her face while Tristan had a drawn-on set of cat whiskers with TRISTAN imprinted on his head.

"WELL HELLO MRS TRISTAN!"

"HELLO MR SERENITYYYYYYYYYYY!"

The pair didn't notice Yami and Yugi and barged out the door still laughing.

"Oh my GOD." Yami looked freaked out while Yugi just stared, completely stunned at his older brother. "What the hell happened?!"


	3. The One With The Turkey

(Loud crash)  
HTYT - (ducks behind Yami and Yugi, who are laughing their asses off) Ishizu! Please stop chucking stuff at me!  
Ishizu - (throws plate) I'm PHOEBE!?  
Yami - What's wrong with being Phoebe?  
Ishizu - She's...(can't think of a reason)...DITZY!  
HTYT - I wanted to put you as Phoebe, then Mahad can be David if I do a oneshot of you and him.  
Ishizu - Ok...  
HTYT - Or I was going to put you with Mai.  
(all stare at Authoress, having a mental image of her gravestone)  
HTYT - I own nothing, I'm just torturing them...

---

Ishizu stared at her friend's head...or at least where it should have been...

"IT'S STUCK!" came the muffled complaint. Poor Ishizu had found her friend in her apartment...with a Thanksgiving turkey stuck on his head, "Plus, it smells really bad!"

"Of course it smells bad, you have your head up a turkey's ass! How did you get it stuck on your head in the first place?"

"I put it on to scare Yami! And it just didn't come off!"

Suddenly a key was heard turning in the lock of the door and they wondered what the hell to do, finally settling to hid Joey's body while Ishizu sprinkled herbs on the turkey. Yugi came in the door holding groceries in a bag. "Hi Ishizu, I wa- OH MY GOD! WHO IS THAT?!"

Joey shot up, the legs of the dead bird jiggling comically, "It's Joey!"

"We have to get that turkey off, because it has to feed 16 people at my parent's house tonight, and they're not going to eat it OFF YOUR HEAD!" Yugi screamed, then calmed down and grabbed the legs of the turkey, "Right, Ishizu, you help Joey pull. I'm going to spread the legs as wide as I can-" muffled giggles came from the dead bird, "Joey...NOW IS NOT THE TIME!"

"Alright."

"Ok...now...1, 2, 3!" Yugi lost his grip of the turkey's legs and Joey nearly crashed into the door as it opened, revealing a shocked Yami, who yelped.

Realizing he had succeeding in making his best friend jump, Joey began a dance, "HAHAHA! I scared you-ho-ho-hoooo!" pointing at the empty wall of the room.

"Wrong way Joe..." Yami smirked.

"I know you're over there! Hahaha!" Joey then swiveled in the opposite direction, pointing at the fridge now, and began his dance all over again.

---

Joey - hehehe.....spread the legs.....  
HTYT - Well, amusing you is my duty.  
Joey - hehehehehehehehehe.....duty.....doody.....  
Yugi - Joey will never grow up. But we love him anyway.


	4. The One Where The Apartment Gets Robbed

HTYT - FANFICTION WAS OUT FOR NEARLY THREE FRICKIN' DAYS!!!  
Annu - calm down, Ms PMS.  
HTYT - Sorry. Well, a Joey and Yami friendship crackfic oneshot!

---

The One Where The Apartment Gets Robbed

Yami was knackered after a hard day at work, so when he got to his apartment he did the usual thing of taking off his jacket and chucking his keys on the table.

He heard his keys crash onto the floor and looked up.

His entire apartment (save for Joey's entertainment unit...The one he'd been trying to get rid of...) had been emptied.

"OH MY GOD!" he yelled, staring wide eyed at the empty apartment. They'd even taken the microwave and the lamps.

"WHAT?" came a muffled shout. Yami gave a quick look around, trying to figure where the hell the voice came from. His eyes went back to the entertainment unit and the crimson eyes widened once more.

Tugging the hockey stick holding the door to the cupboard closed, he opened the door and immediately asked, "WHAT HAPPENED?"

Joey quickly looked around and whined. "OH MAN! HE PROMISED HE WOULDN'T TAKE THE CHAIRS!"

Yami shook his head. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? HOW DID YOU GET LOCKED IN AND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ALL OUR STUFF?!" he yelled at his friend, motioning with flailing limbs to the ransacked room.

"Well a guy came to look at the unit and he swore it didn't look big enough to fit a grown man!" Joey protested. Yami looked at him incredulously.

"Are you telling me.....You got in voluntarily!?"

"I was TRYING to make a good sale! AH if I meet that guy again, you know what I'll do when I run into him?"

Yami leaned in and screamed out, losing his temper, "MAYBE BEND OVER?!"

---

HTYT - I love that episode. I laughed so much at Joey, but now when I watch friends I see my Yugioh pairings there instead of the actual characters...


	5. The One Where Yami And Yugi Get Engaged

HTYT - Alright, I haven't really been able to write much. My laptop keyboard has been giving me hell for a few days and I need to get it repaired, and I'm having to borrow a friend's to write my coursework.  
Yami - (Sneezes)  
HTYT - Bless you.  
Yugi - This is the second time you two have gotten sick in the two weeks!  
HTYT - I would have been fine if your dear boyfriend hadn't have sneezed on me.  
Yami - It was an accident, I swe-he-achuu...swear.  
HTYT - I forgive you on the premise you're nice...usually.

---

Tristan legged it into his younger brother's apartment. "Hey guys, I found a note on my door saying 'come to Yugi's apartment' and to bring champagne and a candy bar?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll just take that," Joey snatched up the bar and took a big bite out of it. Tristan just shook his head, looking at Yami.

"What's up?"

"Yugi and I are engaged," Yami said with a smile and a blush. He watched as Tristan's eyes widened, and then was glomped by his soon to be brother-in-law.

"That's amazing, where is he?"

"I'M ENGAGED! I'M ENGAGED!"

Tristan smiled, seeing his little brother through the window, and Joey explained. "He's been out there for about 20 minutes, how did you not hear him on the way over?"

"Oh, I assumed it was that kid shouting 'I'm gay, I'm gay'."

Serenity grinned and leaned against the fridge, "Yeah, no that guy moved."

Tristan nodded his head a little and jerked his thumb in the direction of the balcony, "Can I bring him in?"

"Nah, let him stay out there, it's really sweet," Ishizu chimed in, smoothing her blue vest over her stomach.

"I'M GONNA BE MARRIED! I'M ENGAGED!!!.....NO I WILL NOT SHUT UP! BECAUSE I'M ENGAGED!!!..........OH BIG TALK SWEETY, WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT TO MY FACE BUDDY!!! MY FIANCE IS GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!! COME ON, APARTMENT 20 BITCH!!!"

Yami glanced in the direction of his fiance, then turned back to his other friends. "O-hokay, Joey, you get him in, Ishizu, you bolt the door. I'll just be in the closet."

---

Yami - ...  
HTYT - Hehehehehehehe.  
Yugi - ...I no longer wish to associate with you.  
Yami - What did I do?!  
Yugi - Not you. HTYT, I am not that crazy.  
(collective silence)


	6. The One Where It All Began

HTYT - I had a laugh writing this one...  
Yami - (pissed off) You make me look like an idiot.  
HTYT - Oh bite me.  
Joey - Hehehehe...Imagine having a phone as a body part.  
Ishizu - ...Like?  
Joey - One of your boo-  
HTYT - OKAY!!! On with the story! I don't own friends or Yugioh...although Yami, Marik and Bakura do appear as my muses...

---

-The One Where It All Began...-

"...And I realized I was totally...naked."

"I've had one of those dreams before-" Yugi started.

"Then I look down, and there is a PHONE....." Yami gestured towards his groin, much to the amusement of Joey, ".....THERE."

Yugi looked back at him, "...Instead of...?"

"That's right," Yami finished.

Joey smirked a little, "I've never had THAT dream..."

"All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it's my mother, which is REALLY weird because...well, my mother never calls me."

Before any of the group could comment they were interrupted by a sighting of Yugi's older brother, looking extremely depressed. "Hi."

"Hey, Tristan, how you feeling?" Joey tried.

"Like someone shoved their arm down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, tugged it out and wrapped it around my neck and is now watching me slowly choke to death," came the reply. He sank into the space next to Ishizu, who shifted to look at him and began waving her hands around his head, much to his annoyance, "Ishizu, please stop trying to cleanse my aura, just leave it alone."

Yugi almost despaired. It had been a few weeks since his divorce, and he was completely hung up on the fact his wife had turned out to be a lesbian. Finding out that had been enough of a shock, then he'd been through the divorce, and had to move to a new apartment, all of which had put him under immense stress.

"So, you really never knew she was a lesbian?" Joey asked, and earned a glare from his friends.

"No! Stop fixating on that!" Tristan snapped.

Yami thought for a moment, tilting his head and staring into space, before silencing any conversation with one sentence; "I sometimes wish I was a lesbian," then realized what he had said and glanced at the group, who were staring at him, confused, "Did I really just say that out loud?"

Once again Joey tried to lighten the mood, lowering his cup of coffee and putting it down in favour of talking, "Come on Tris, think about it, you can enjoy being single. You're hurting right now...and what better place to go than a strip joint?"

"I don't WANT to be single...I just want to be married again."

As he spoke these words, a young woman, who Yugi found familiar, burst through the door and went up to the counter. She was soaked to the skin and her makeup had run slightly.

The odd thing was she was in a wedding dress.

Yami couldn't resist. "And I just want a million dollars!" he joked, extending a hand upwards hopefully.

Something clicked in Yugi's head and he finally placed a face to a name, and walked up to the girl. "Oh my god...Serenity?"

Apparently he got the name right, because Serenity turned and glomped him, "Oh my...Yugi, hi! Oh my god I'm so glad to see you..."

"Coffee?" they looked to the man behind the counter.

"Decaf," Yugi quickly suggested to Mako, then led his friend to the area of the coffeehouse they always sat in and didn't hesitate to introduce her, "Hey guys this is Serenity, another Domino High survivor. This is everyone; Joey, Yami, Ishizu, and you remember Tristan, my brother?"

"Sure!" the former bride walked forward and tripped, stumbling into Tristan's arms, which circled and steadied her, their faces only a few inches apart. Yugi smiled slightly, knowing the crush Tristan had on Serenity during high school and college, and knew that she hadn't ever truly left his brother's mind.

Once the coffee was in her hand and sweetened, she finally divulged her story, how she had freaked and run from her wedding and ended up in the city...

---

Serenity - Who was I marrying?  
HTYT - I don't know. I'll figure that out if I do another oneshot.  
Ishizu - If?  
HTYT - When...I just got given an exam paper and have a bunch of coursework, so my writing shall be hindered. Not to mention my mother won't shut up.  
Yami - .....I wonder what it's like to be a lesbian?  
Yugi - ...Yami...you remember the thing I said about thinking then speaking?  
Yami - Yeah, but it's on a 30 second delay.  
HTYT - Moving on...


	7. The One With The Balcony Slumber Party

HTYT - This one is a random one!  
Yugi - ...Was this guy really hot?  
Yami - (carefully hides his sadness and jealousy)  
HTYT - Yugi, would you do me a favour?  
Yugi - Yeah?  
HTYT - (whispers) Ravish Yami senseless?  
Yugi - ...With great pleasure.

---

-The One With The Balcony Slumber Party-

Ishizu sipped the punch through the straw, giggling with Yugi and Serenity. Since she was having problems with her loud grandmother, who she shared an apartment with, she was staying over at Yugi's, and they had turned the first night into a slumber party. She was fine...until this was said.

Yugi chuckled, tipsy from the rum punch and put his feet up on the balcony table, where they had settled with pizza to spy on a certain man who they all had the hots for. "Ok...Ishizu...do you remember that vegetarian pate stuff I made you?" he asked, still giggling, and Serenity's chuckles gained volume, knowing exactly what he was talking about, "Well, unless goose is a vegetable..."

Ishizu, who was a strong vegetarian, was absolutely mortified and her face contorted in disgust, "EW EW EW!...Oh great now I don't feel as bad for sleeping with Leon Williams," she replied, delighted when Yugi's eyes widened and he stopped laughing.

"YOU SLEPT WITH LEON!? WHEN?!"

"After you broke up!" she reassured.

"How long?"

"...couple of hours," she said, taking another sip at the punch. Serenity laughed louder and had to steady herself from the position on the wall by the fire escape.

"Oh, well THAT'S nice!" Yugi's voice took on a sarcastic tone as he glared at her.

Serenity calmed down a little and shifted, and as she did so a pillow cascaded to the street several floors down. The young woman ignored it and proceeded with her own confession, aimed at her childhood friend. "Yugi, you remember back in college on Valentine's Day? Well, the card Julian left in your locker was really from me!"

"What?" he was mortified.

"Oh come on Yugi, like he'd really send you one!" she giggled again and caught Ishizu's attention, "he was a big boy back then..."

Before they could get into another argument, Ishizu shot up out her seat, pointing animatedly to the window across the street, where the hot guy Kaito was in nothing but a towel, "LOOK LOOK! THERE HE IS!"

"WHERE?"

"Well, where we've been watching all night!" she exclaimed.

Yugi stared, "Ok...come on Kaito-baby...just drop it, just drop the towel..." he spoke hopefully, waving his arms a little.

"Come on, drop the towel!" Serenity encouraged, even though the man across the street couldn't hear any of their pleas.

Then they were all chanting together, "Sweetie, drop the-" the three fell silent. Then a moment later regained the ability to speak and tilted their heads slightly to the side and widened their eyes at the sight of the naked man across the street from them, admiring the hot body and the...well...other important regions..."Wow..."

---

HTYT - Told you it was random!


	8. The One With The Cheesecake

Yami - You can come out from hiding, they aren't going to kill you!  
HTYT - (pokes her head out from under the desk) You sure?  
Yami - What the hell do I know? Just get out from there, you look ridiculous... (he stares at the Authoress)  
HTYT - What?  
Yami - The ends of your hair are the same colour as mine...  
HTYT - ...Oh yeah...I got my hair done.  
Yami - But...that's mine and Yugi's colour...  
HTYT - ...sorry. It wasn't intentional! I didn't realize the colour would come out like this! I thought it was more reddish-pink than it was...  
Yugi - (playing Fable 2) HTYT doesn't own. Now can you guys shut up? I'm trying to pick up a prostitute here!  
(Entire room looks at him apart from Ryou, HTYT and Mokuba)  
Mokuba - On Fable 2.  
Everyone - OH! Right...  
HTYT - Right. A little Yami and Serenity friendship short today! And they're having a little argument over food...

---

Serenity savoured the mouthful of the stolen cheesecake. It was absolutely amazing; buttery and crumbly crust and a rich but light creamy filling...and Yami would never know...

"Are you eating the cheesecake without me?!"

She swiveled to see Yami, shocked and accusingly pointing at her. "Nuhuhuh," she mumbled over the dessert.

He leaned with one hand on his hip and tilted his head slightly up, daring her, "I will give you $100 dollars to whistle right now," he dared, knowing she wouldn't be able to.

Serenity shook her head and smiled around her food, before pursing her lips in an attempt to whistle. Instead, after a few moments, she sprayed a shower of crumbs onto the floor and almost choked.

Yami walked up and to the other side of the counter to face her, a betrayed look on his face. "How could you eat the cheesecake without me?!"

"Oh what will you do, Yami? Tell Joey, tell YUGI?! NO! Because they will learn what we've done!" she gestured with the fork to the box with the remaining two thirds of the dessert on it, "We are Dessert-Stealers, Yami! We are outside of the law!!!" she exclaimed in a hushed voice.

Yami raised an eyebrow at his friend and picked up the box. "Serenity, I don't trust you with the cake anymore. I got it first....." he walked past her and stopped at the open door, "AND I'M TAKIN' IT BACK!!!"

"Hohoho no no no! You think I trust you with it, boy? That's it...we split it. You take one half, I take the other," she suggested as the walked into the opposite apartment and placed the cheesecake on the table.

"That's not fair! You already had some!" Yami stated indignantly.

Serenity smirked, "Well, then I will go tell Yugi that you called his cheesecake, 'dry and mealy'."

Serenity had him backed into a corner now. He scowled at her, "What will we use to split it?"

She grabbed a knife and split the remaining part into two sections, and waited. "Pick a half."

Yami took a moment to decide, and took a look at both sides. "Well...left side is bigger.....but there's more crust on this side.....can we measure-"

"PICK A PIECE!"

"Alright! That one!" he jabbed at his portion and she chuckled and put it onto a place for him.

"So the smaller piece..." she took the plate she'd put her part on and walked to the door. "Enjoy your half, Yami, but remember, that's it. No sharing or switching and don't cry to me if you eat your piece too fast!" she whipped around...a little two quickly...and tripped, sending her half of the delectable dessert crashing onto the hallway floor. She yelled in dismay and Yami came to his apartment door, very smug.

He glanced at the girl and the ruined dessert. "OH!"

Serenity turned slowly to her best friend's fiance and once again pointed the fork at him. "Give me some of yours."

"OHOHOH NO! No sharing and no switching and don't come crying to me! HAHA!" he posed and picked up a forkful of his own cheesecake, "I may just sit here and have my cake ALL DAY! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my-" he was cut off as his own plate was bitch-slapped from his hand and cascaded to the floor just a few feet away from Serenity's portion.

The pair glanced at each other then the fork in Yami's hand, which still had a chunk of cheesecake on it. Serenity shook her head, before Yami raised the fork to his mouth and they both bolted into the apartment to fight over the last piece.

---

"There's a bit that doesn't have floor on it!" she exclaimed, jabbing her utensil into the clean bit of cheesecake.

"Stick to you own side, Serenity!" Yami complained, fighting her with his own cutlery to get the bit she was referring to.

"Yami, come on....."

Someone loomed over them and raised his eyebrows, to which they looked up from where they were crouching and waited for his reaction with baited breath.

Joey held his jacket open and pulled a fork from the inside pocket, then sank onto the step beside them and picked up a forkful, "So guys, what we having?"

---

HTYT - hehehe. I watched this episode the other night and I got inspired.


	9. The One With The Miss Pacman Machine

HTYT - (chokes) Yami...please let me go...  
Yami - You made me look like an idiot...again.  
Yugi - (tugs at his lover's arm) Oh Yami?  
Yami - (looks around and gapes at Yugi, and lets HTYT go) Holy crap.  
Yugi - (smirks openly. He's standing in nothing but his boxers holding a pair of handcuffs)  
HTYT - (faints)

---

The One With The Miss Pacman Machine

Yugi opened the door to his apartment and faced his husband's back. Yami was sat on a stool in front of the Miss Pacman machine and looked like he'd been there since he'd left for work that morning. Yami was still in his pyjamas, had stubble from not shaving, and his hair, unruly as it already was, was mussed up to the extreme and was a mess of tricoloured spikes.

Yami turned to him, "Guess what I did today?"

"Well it obviously wasn't showering or shaving," Yugi retorted, smirking, stood next to him.

"I got good at the game. They should change the game's name to Miss Yami," he answered, then thought about what he'd said when his lover smirked at him again with raised eyebrows, "Although I hope they don't...Anyway I played all day, I knocked Ishizu of the scoreboard completely! High Five!"

Yugi raised his hand to high five him, but stopped when he saw the shape of his hand. It looked a little like a mangled claw, "Yami, what's with your hand?" he asked, his face bewildered at the shape of his lover's fingers.

"Well I played for about 8 hours straight...never mind, just check out these scores. Oh and check the names for them as well," he let Yugi sit down and giggled, "They're all dirty words."

Yugi read the screen and shook his head with an amused smile, "Yami? Why would you do that?"

"Because it's awesome!"

"Do you think this is clever?" Yugi asked.

"Well, they only give you 3 letters, and after A-S-S...it is a bit of a challenge," he replied.

Yugi blinked at the screen and raised an eyebrow then pointed at the third down, "Wait a sec, this one isn't dirty."

Yami smiled and pointed the next score, "It is when you combine it with that one."

Yugi lowered his head and smirked, then brought himself back to face his husband, "Well, if you don't get rid of this, you wont get one of those off me tonight," he threatened, "Tristan is bringing over my nephew later tonight and he cannot see this. He's still pissed you and Joey taught him the 'pull my finger' gag." he grabbed the plug at the bottom and went to undo them.

"'Pull my finger'" he snickered, then caught sight of his hand again, "...my hand is messed up!" he spoke, looking at his mangled fingers, then Yami yelped as he saw what Yugi was going to do, "No no no! Then I'll have nothing to show for my day, it'll be like I went to work!" he protested, but Yugi still pulled the plug out, and then pushed them back in, in hope they would erase the vulgar scores and put it back to factory settings. But the scores on the leader board didn't go away.

"They're still there...this thing must have a primitive ROM chip in it or something!" Yami cried, delighted his 'work' hadn't been erased.

"Well Yami, you're gonna have to beat your top scores," Yugi told him, resting one hand on his hip.

His husband raised his hand and revealed the painful looking hand again. "WITH THE CLAW?!"

---

Annu - So Yami, you gonna try and kill her again.  
Yami - (doesn't answer, but has a dazed expression and looks like he got caught up in a tornado)  
Yugi - (looking rather happy with himself) lets just say, I'm proud to say I can sex my boyfriend into a walking coma.  
HTYT - Good on you Yugi!  
Yugi - You do realize when he's woken up, he's still going to chase you round the town with a bit of wood?  
HTYT - I know, but I'll be on my motorbike, so he'll have a job keeping up!


	10. The One With The Halloween Party

HTYT: I think I may have something against breathing.  
Yugi: No kidding.  
Yami: *seething with rage*

---

The One With The Halloween Party

Yami nibbled on the end of the carrot, forcing himself into character to keep his husband happy, despite his hatred of his costume. But he had to ask, so he walked up to him, "Yugi, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Yugi swiveled and smiled at him. His costume was a black cat, and he was dressed from heat to foot in leather and complete with a furry, wired tail. He looked irresistible, "Yeah?"

Serenity smirked at the taller and leaned against the counter with Ishizu, who was dressed up as Supergirl and grinning despite the glares she was shooting at her evil twin Isis.

Yami continued, the remainder of his dignity splintering, "Yug honey, I appreciate you getting me the costume-"

"Oh God, you did this to him?" Serenity asked, and when she got a nod from Yugi she chuckled behind her hand.

Yami was standing in front of them, buck teeth included, in a pink and white rabbit costume.

Yugi shrugged and looked to his friends, putting down the refreshment plate he had been handing around, "What? His favorite book as a kid was 'The Velveteen Rabbit'!" he reasoned.

Yami looked at him and glared, "'The Velveteen Rabbit' was brown and white!"

Yugi put his hands on his hips and Yami had trouble not jumping him right there and then, because his husband was too drop dead gorgeous for his own good in leather, "It was either pink bunny or no bunny at all-"

"NO BUNNY AT ALL! ALWAYS NO BUNNY AT ALL!!!" Yami yelled, pointing the partially eaten vegetable in his hand at his husband. The rest of them snickered and after a few moments the pink bunny went off in a sulk and tore another bit off his carrot.

No one could take Yami seriously when he looked like the illegitimate love child of Bugs Bunny and Marshmallon.

---

Yami: *looks at me* Do you have anything to say for yourself?  
HTYT: ...*smiles*...Um...I bought you some more Blackcurrant Sourz?  
Yami: *remembers 'Moments With The Muses Event'*.....you're forgiven. For now.


	11. The One With The Rooster

HTYT: My apologies for keeping everyone hanging. But I have a lot of fics taking up my writing time at the moment. One crossover, one collaborative work, two puzzleshipping stories and another fic I have yet to reveal which is about an unusual pairing.  
Yami: And she saw this episode the other day and got bored.

---

In the quiet of the morning, or as quiet as a morning in the city got...

The sound of a cockerel crowing rang out in the air.

Serenity opened the door to her room, exhausted looking and angry at the 6 o'clock wakeup call she HADN'T asked for, just as Yugi opened the door to his, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" she shouted. Then she turned to her roommate, "What the hell is that!? Is that you?"

Yugi rolled his eyes as the sound of a cockerel sounded again, and Serenity growled loudly and charged towards her apartment door with so much strength he was sure if she hadn't have stopped she would have gone right through it in her rage. Despite not being happy about being woken up himself, he found himself greatly amused. "Wow, you really aren't a morning person-"

"BACK OFF!" the reply told him to not say another word and he shifted back a little as they went through to the source of the noise.

When Serenity's hands touched the door of the guys' apartment, she started smacking and thudding on it, even giving it a little kick. "GET UP! GETUPGETUPGETUPGETUPGETUP!"

At the final 'GETUP', the door opened, and two very ruffled looking men stared them in the face. Yami's eyebrows were so high they were hidden beneath his bangs and Joey's eyes were saying he was just as knackered as anyone else. Serenity glared at them. "WHAT is making that noise???"

Joey's hand leaned against the door frame while the other waved in the air as he searched for the words. "It's the Chick...she's...going through some changes."

Yugi's eyes widened a little, "What kind of changes?"

Yami bit his lip then sighed. The vet seems to think that she's...becoming a rooster-" the rooster sounded off again and he held up a hand before Serenity went forward to batter the poor creature into oblivion. "We're getting a second opinion."

---

HTYT: Probably not my best but bear in mind my slightly-still-there writer's block.


	12. The One With The TV Cabinet

HTYT: One of the better recent ones...decided to keep it as the second update! Enjoy!!!

---

Yami adjusted his suit and walked out of his bedroom, where Joey was sat at the breakfast counter eating a bowl of cereal-

RIP.

Yami stumbled momentarily and then caught himself, and looked at his elbow. In his nice work suit, from elbow to half way down his forearm was a hole torn into the fabric. He looked up at his roommate. "WOW...THAT ripped. That ripped real nice!" he smiled sarcastically and chuckled without humour.

When Joey had decided a little while previously to make a place to put their letters and keys, he'd taken it a step further...and built a TV cabinet. But somewhere between Yami getting a varnish tin lid stuck to his ass, replacing the tiles in Yugi and Serenity's bathroom, nearly drilling a hole in his roommate and the saw cutting through Yami's bedroom door (which yet remained to be fixed properly), he'd gotten the measurements a little askew. So now they had a TV cabinet which took up most of both their bedroom doorways. Something that sincerely pissed off Yami.

Joey sighed and lifted himself off the high stool and walked into Yami's room. "Yami, how many times do I have to tell you," then as his roommate watched bewildered, he walked back through the door, only this time there was no rip as he turned and passed the TV cabinet. "You turn...and slide. Huh? Turn and slide!"

"No you don't turn and slide, you THROW it OUT!" the tricoloured haired man hopped a little and pointed to the closed door to the apartment with as much emphasis as he could muster, "I'm tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I walk past that thing!"

Suddenly Joey began to get defensive. "We're not throwing it out! I built that thing with my own hands!" he reasoned.

Yami thought for a moment, then waved his hand towards it, "Alright, then how about we sell it?"

Joey thought it through for a minute or two, then sighed in defeat, "Alright," then as Yami was going to turn around, he opened the cabinet door, "BUT...You're gonna have to tell them."

Yami grinned sarcastically once again and looked at their pet chicken and duck. The two feathered creatures were holed up inside like it was a joint nest. Sticking his head near the opening, Yami leaned in a little, "Mind if we stick you in a DIFFERENT cabinet?!" Then the man turned back to his blond roommate, his hand gesturing violently towards the two birds, "THEY SEEM ALRIGHT WITH IT!"

---

HTYT: I love the fact this is actually the start of one of the other episode sections I've written...hehehe.  
Yami: I can't believe that thing ruined my suit.  
Yugi: I can make it better.  
Yami: You can fix it?  
Yugi: No, we can have sex.  
HTYT: *chuckles to herself with childish amusement* Excuse them...the seem to be in a horny phase...They've been at it like bunnies for days...


	13. The One With The ATM Vestibule

HTYT: Hehehe I always love this bit...it's so funny how Joey and Chandler could understand each other!!! Enjoy!

---

As the electricity went out, Yami sighed and looked around. It was just him alone, with...standing just a few feet away, leaning against the wall...there she was.

Long beautiful hair in three striking colours, and naturally tanned skin surrounding bright violet eyes...there was Heba Midorikawa. THE MODEL. The girl, who looked a fair amount like Yugi did, was shorter than the average model, but still fantastic all the same. She and Yugi could have been twin brother and sister.

Yami completely froze. '_Oh my god...I'm trapped in a ATM Vestibule with Heba Midorikawa..._' he looked around for a second in contemplation, '_Is it a Vestibule??? Maybe it's an Atrium...Oh yeah, THAT'S the part to focus on, you idiot._'

Yami walked over to the table, pen marks and doodles covering its wooden surface, a broken pen nearby with crumpled bank statements and gum. It was hardly a romantic setting to try and get a date, especially for being in the presence of such a woman.

"Hi Mom, it's Heba...Yeah, I'm stuck at the bank, an ATM Vestibule. Yeah I'm fine...I'll see you soon."

'_Heba says Vestibule, I'm going with Vestibule_.' Yami nodded to himself, distracting himself with the ads pinned to the board on the wall when he felt a nudge at his arm. When he turned, he found himself looking into Heba's face and at a hand proffering a phone forward.

Heba smiled a little, "Would you like to call somebody?" she offered.

'_Yeah_,' Yami smirked inwardly, '_About 300 guys I went to high school with!_' Despite his mind's suggestion, he took the phone with a quick thank-you and punched in Yugi's number. No doubt everyone would have gone there in the blackout...and he had to tell SOMEONE who he was trapped with!!!

-

Yugi watched Joey walk in, and raised his eyebrows. He'd brought more candles for light, but rather than conventional votive or tea light candles, Joey had brought in a jewish menorah holder.

Tristan smirked, holding the matches to light another pillar candle he'd found under the sink, and held out a hand. "And officiating tonight's blackout is Rabbi Joseph Wheeler."

Ishizu smiled and giggled to herself, her guitar resting in her arms, and Joey sank into the seat next to her and Serenity. "Well, Yami's last roommate was jewish, and it was the only candles we had so, Happy Hanukkah everyone!"

Just as Tristan was about to comment, the phone rang, and Yugi moved over to pick it up. "Hello???"

Yami's voice came through the speaker. "Hey Yugi, it's me."

Back in his place in the vestibule, Yami turned a little away from Heba and mumbled. "Listen...mcrupped...inaATMveftibull...wuthHebeMudoorimawa."

Yugi's eyebrows raised. "What???"

Yami rolled his eyes. "Mcrypped, INAATMvethstibull...wuthHebeMudoorimawa."

"I didn't get a word of that-" Yugi was interrupted just before he could rant.

Frustrated now, Yami spoke normally just to say this: "Put Joey on the phone!"

Yugi handed the phone over, and he lifted the phone to his ear. "What's up, Yami?" The blond asked.

For the third time, frustrated and while getting some very strange looks from the model in his company, he spoke once more. "I'mcrupped inaATMVespibule...WithHebeMidooribawwa!"

Instantly, Joey got the message and covered the mouthpiece of the phone, jumping up and down excitedly in his seat and pointing at the receiver. "Oh my god! Yami's trapped in an ATM Vestibule with Heba Midorikawa!!!" Joey raised the phone back to his head, and instead of saying something back, emitted a series of unintelligible mumbles that seemed to be a code for something.

Yugi and Tristan looked at one another, bewildered that the two could understand each other. But maybe that was what came from being roommates with Joey...

On the other end of the phone, Yami shook his head at the suggestion. "Yeah, like THAT thought never entered my mind!"

---

HTYT: Hehe wow, 2 updates? Thats more than I've done in a while!!!  
Yami: Finally got off your ass and updated then?  
HTYT: Oh shut up, you're the one who upped and left with my plot bunnies.  
Yami: Well, I ate them. And they didn't taste like rabbit. They tasted like chicken.  
HTYT: .....You ate...my plot bunnies.

THE FOLLOWING HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO VIOLENT ACTIVITY.


	14. The One With The New Chairs

HTYT: I apologize for the lack of updates. My laptop's motherboard broke down, so I had to wait until it was fixed, which took AGES. Anyway, here is a very crappy update...

---

Yami and Joey, side by side in the recliners, sat watching another set of infomercials.

Since getting the comfy leather chairs and first sitting down in their soft luxury cushions in front of a new big screen TV, the two men hadn't left them. AT ALL. The roommates looked like the epitome of slobby males, even with a distinct stubble growing on their chins from not bothering to shave.

At that second Yami was partially distracted from the new TV by the phone in his hand. "Yep, that's 2 large sized pizzas, extra cheese on both..." he nodded absentmindedly, before remembering one little detail, "but listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19. Ring 20. Yugi Mutou, Serenity Wheeler, they'll let you in," he paused and listened to the man on the other end and ended the call with a simple answer. "If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you!"

Yami put down the phone and sat back again. "Pizzas are on the way, and I told you we wouldn't have to get up."

Everything fell silent for all of 5 seconds and then Joey made a good point: "What if we have to pee?"

Yami didn't answer for a good few moments, then leaned back and grabbed the phone again, "I'll cancel the sodas."

---

HTYT: UGH. Lack of inspiration...  
Yugi: I noticed. Although one story has come along nicely.  
HTYT: Oh yeah. The one I haven't posted yet.  
Yugi: *rolls eyes* It's a good one! I read it through twice...and you haven't even finished it yet.


	15. The One With The Alumni Page

HTYT: I don't know...I really don't know.

* * *

Yami was completely settled down in the coffee house. He had a cappuccino in one hand, a newspaper in the other, his glasses were settled on his nose comfortably, and he was entirely at ease.

"I HAVE SEX WITH DINOSAURS?"

Yami turned around, where Tristan was standing, completely infuriated. He smirked, remembering what he meant.

The previous evening, waiting to go and play basketball, he and Joey had been waiting for Tristan to get ready and had taken a look at Tristan's laptop, where he had the browser open with his college Alumni page up, where he was reconnecting with classmates. And while they were waiting, they had...changed a few details on his profile.

Yami smirked again, "I believe I read that somewhere."

"Ok, not only is it not funny, it's also physically impossible," Tristan's face was red with rage, almost going into a state which he had coined 'Crimson Tristan'. He glared into his friend's eyes, "I mean depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long- IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Tristan yelled.

Still completely serene, Yami looked up with a smile. "I respectfully disagree."

Tristan shook his head and looked like he meant business, "But it's alright. Because I'm eager to see what people think of what you wrote on your page today."

Yami turned back to his paper and turned the page, then glanced back. "I don't have a page."

And then Tristan said something that made him realize he really underestimated how conniving his best friend from college could really be:

"Oh, I respectfully disagree."

Suddenly, Yami had the urge to jump up and run upstairs to check what rumour could be spreading to his college classmates...

* * *

HTYT: I've got to run. There's a Pharaoh on my tail...


End file.
